Our courageous client has completed her sixth Ketamine session, and she’s shared her reflections on the process and its profound impact. When combined with her open-mindedness and dedication, these Ketamine treatments have brought significant, long-lasting changes to her life and her perspective. She describes her experience far more eloquently than we could, so savor the final entry in The Ketamine Diaries!

Ketamine Reflections: Spring

It’s been approximately six weeks since my last Ketamine infusion. I wanted to take some time to truly absorb and reflect on my experience before attempting to put it into words. To be honest, describing my journey felt daunting – how does one articulate the transformation from “tripping” for an hour to a positive shift in mental health? The idea of paying to feel high, even for a short time, having a lasting impact seemed almost surreal. As a natural skeptic, I needed some time and space to determine if this experience had resulted in a substantial and enduring change in my brain.

Each session progressively became warmer, cozier, and more splendid, with the sweet spot arriving around session three. After my sixth and final session, Ryan and Rachel provided me with follow-up instructions, and I left their care. I was advised that everyone is unique and that most individuals will require a “touch-up” at some point in their lives, a single treatment to restore their brain chemistry to the current level. I was instructed to reach out when necessary.

In the first few days following my last session, similar to any new experience, I overanalyzed every interaction. Was I a changed woman? Did this treatment turn me into an entirely new person? Am I now amazing? The simple answer is both no and yes – if that makes sense. I didn’t exit those six sessions completely healed from every life trauma or as an entirely new version of myself. Regrettably, this was not a magic fix akin to the hope that every new diet fad or three days at the gym would instantly yield a perfectly toned bikini body.

Instead, I began to notice that each day I felt a little…lighter. Then one day, I awoke to a feeling of spring. Any native North Idahoan knows exactly what I’m referring to. It’s that lively, invigorating, light sensation we all experience when the gloomy sky gives way to sunny days, and the snow finally begins to melt. There’s no better feeling than emerging from the endless winter. This is the only way I can accurately describe how I felt. One day, I realized that I was waking up more easily, feeling lighter, happier, and more inclined to engage with the world once again. I kept this newfound feeling to myself for a while, skeptical that it would fade. After all, we are far from a North Idaho spring. But, I can honestly report that it hasn’t faded.

For me, Ketamine has rekindled the light within. It has lifted the weight of depression, that constant heaviness that I carried in my limbs, my head, behind my eyes. I feel less irritable, less anxious, and just generally better. The most surprising revelation for me has been my improved ability to set boundaries. Like many people who grew up in a high-conflict environment, I seriously struggled with boundaries. I often felt compelled to say “yes” and appease everyone, fearing that anything less might trigger conflict. As it turns out, not every refusal leads to an explosion. It’s acceptable to express your feelings or simply decline things that don’t serve you. The fascinating part is that I didn’t have to actively work on improving my boundaries; they began to emerge more naturally. The usual fear and guilt cycle didn’t accompany these boundary-setting moments. In general, the ever-present anxiety that had haunted me seemed to have evaporated. This was particularly noticeable when I had to interact with family members who typically caused me significant stress and anxiety. I wasn’t as easily triggered by their words or actions. The Ketamine somehow has made me more indifferent to their provocations and bad behavior. Perhaps this is what normal brain chemistry feels like? I’m not entirely sure, but honestly, it’s quite remarkable.

So, no, I haven’t become an entirely different person. I still have plenty of generational trauma to unravel and overcome. I haven’t parted ways with my therapist just yet. However, I have become a notably improved version of myself. I am lighter, less anxious, and more engaged. I am thankful for having gone through this process and grateful that it didn’t come with the side effects I experienced from past medications. To be entirely candid, I am also grateful that I have the option of receiving a touch-up treatment should I begin to slip back into the fog of depression or anxiety. It feels like a safety net. But for now, I am going to embrace this warm, light spring I have stepped into.

Conclusion from R&R

If you are grappling with depression and anxiety, please know that you are not alone, and you’re not trapped! We hope that our client’s story serves as an inspiration. Ketamine could be the missing piece in your journey, a treatment that could help rewire your brain and usher you into a new season of life. Reach out to us to learn more about how Ketamine can help combat depression and anxiety.

xoxo Rachel and Ryan